Little friends and lots of love

Zack has several friends already -- not bad for being less than a month old!


Our friends Reva and Bret had their son, Owen, two days after Zack was born.
Mutual friends Kendra and Jason have a 3-year-old boy and a three-month-old boy, too, and live nearby. The three families got together last week for a little Baby Party.

Then, a fellow reporter (for the local TV station) and her husband (also named Scott) has their baby less than 30 minutes before Zack on the very same day. She and I (and our babies!) got together the other day to exchange war stories and have plans to have dinner together next week.

And that's just the baby's friends... never mind all of the awesome loved ones and relatives that Zack is meeting... like his Jersey grandparents, who came out to visit Zack for the first time this past weekend and couldn't take their eyes off of him.



We're totally feeling the love... and look forward to more love, like when Aunt Alice and Uncle Paul visit Zack Attack in two weeks! :-)

Got a guess?

Our friend Staci started a poll on Facebook to try and guess when Baby Z will arrive and how big he will be.

Do you have a guess? Let me know! (Or join our Baby Birthday Poll group on Facebook)

Guesses for dates so far are:
Aug. 1, 7, 9, 11, 15, 17 and 19.
Smallest weight so far is 7 pounds, 4 ounces; the largest is 8 pounds.

Hints:
Scott was a month early. I was about a week early.
Scott weighed in the mid-7-pound range. I was 8 pounds, 5 ounces. I was also a C-section baby.

Baby Z. was estimated at 5.5 pounds last week... he's probably at about 6 pounds now, growing 1/2 a pound or so each week. He's very long/tall, too.

We are fairly certain of our possible conception date(s) and both think it would bring us a little earlier than due date.

Final hint: He's a Zook. Anything's possible. :-)

So what do you think???

Shower of love

This weekend was filled with showers -- and love!!!

Our friends Reva and Bret celebrated their upcoming arrival (due Aug. 8!!!) with a shower Friday night. It was amazing to see their love for one another and see all the people that came out to support them and Baby Smith (who needs a name...!)

Then, on Saturday, my group of PA loved ones helped me celebrate with the first of two showers I'll be having this month. I felt all sorts of gooey love to and from each of them and I'm so grateful for the work my friend Julie put into the day. It was a really special moment that definitely got me a little choked up a time or two.

Zachary got some GREAT gifts already... lots of cute clothes, some bath items, a few books, diapers, a humidifier and all sorts of other things to make him happy and healthy. We are so grateful for everyone's generosity. And we are all so lucky.

Here are some photos... Reva and me comparing bellies, some present-opening fun and a shot of me and Julie to go up next to a shot from her baby shower last year. :-)

Numbers floating in my mind

I've told a lot of people during this whole crazy process that everything is suddenly seen in a different light when you're on the verge of mommyhood. Everyday activities become something you one day get to share with your baby. Memories are something you share, too, for better or for worse.

16 years ago today my mother passed away in a New Jersey hospital after hanging on, battling, fighting for so long. I wasn't there with her that day, but I remember every minute of that week so clearly.

May 26 has been a rollercoaster ride of a day every year for me. I see it approaching on the calendar and grimace, wishing another year without my mom wasn't about to be added to an already too-big of a number. When I wake up on this day, I never know what Wendy is going to face the day. Sometimes, she's a scared little 10-year-old girl again. Sometimes, she is mightier than all the gladiators in the history of the world and the day barely affects her.

I woke up today and thought I just wanted to hide under the covers. Then, the baby started kicking, as if to get me out of bed and out of a prospective funk. So I compromised, staying in bed for a few extra minutes and telling him some of my favorite memories about his grandmother.

Then, Baby Z and I got out of bed and are facing the day together. He makes me so much stronger than I ever thought I could be. I'm sure that will continue for many, many years.

But I was suddenly hit hard by a scary thought.
I've turned out OK for not growing up with my mom, and for having a sick mother for the years I did have her. But her loss is something I have always and will always feel. It's made me the person I am, for better or for worse. I have that power to impact the baby's life and make a difference in his world.

And as strong as I think I am now, I will promise to only be as strong as possible, to stay with him, fighting tooth and nail for every memory and moment we can share together. There are so many that my mother missed out on that I need to share with him.

And I need him to know what his grandmother -- with the blonde hair, the gray eyes and quiet, funny laugh -- was all about. And how much she loves him and wishes she could be here now.

For the moms... and this mom-to-be

Yesterday was Mother's Day, as you all know. It's usually a difficult day for me, as I mourn the profound absence of my mom and ponder what I could or would do for her to make her day special.

This year, the day was much more special, however.

You see, in a few months, I'll be a Mommy/Momma/Mom/plain old mother. I already feel like one, though, and really, I have since that positive pregnancy test in early December.

A lot of people helped make this weekend special, even though I had to work!

There were the two Mother's Day cards -- my first ones! One was from my Aunt Dot and one was from a family friend. Both of them made me feel so lucky and giddy. They've been prominently displayed in our dining room for everyone to see.

Then on Saturday, I received a package. Not just any package. A bouquet of my favorite flowers -- hydrangeas -- in a cute basket holder from my Godmother, the lovely Aunt Alice.

But then, the moment that finally caused the hormone-driven teardrops.
I came home at almost midnight after working a long day Saturday and had a card waiting for me on the dining room table. My husband was pacing impatiently because since it was a mommy-to-be card, it had to be opened on Mother's-Day-to-be, which was ticking by as I emptied my lunch bag, organized my notebook and papers and started some dishes.

The card was pretty and lovely, and signed from my hubby -- and Zachary, my darling little man who I can't wait to meet, and who has honored me with the title I am most proud of -- mommy-to-be. :-)

There are a lot of special 'moms' in my life.

There are the friends who are moms themselves, who take the time to answer my new-to-this-experience questions, help me register and let me giggle with their beautiful babies. I love you.

There are the friends who aren't yet mommies, but understand what a mom means to me and what being a mom means to me. I love you.

There is the woman who told me that pregnancy was the most beautiful time of her life. I love her.

There is the woman who never had her own children, but has touched the lives of many two and four-legged creatures that are better for having her in their lives.

There is the woman who has adopted me as her own, treating me to lunches and girls' nights out, letting me cry, ramble and complain -- even about her own son!

Then there is the woman whose presence I haven't felt in years, yet suddenly I feel her nearly every time I enter our baby's room, like a cool, comforting breeze that lets you know it will be OK. There's an ultrasound photo on her grave and I'm sure a piece of her, whether it be her laugh or passion or mysterious grey eyes already in my son.

I don't know what sort of mother I'll be, but I certainly have had a lot of great influences. And I can not wait to hold my son and tell him how much he's already loved.

Making space

With the help of grandma-to-be Debbie, I managed yesterday to cross off the pre-baby organization to-do list one of my most dreaded tasks... cleaning out my closet and dresser, packing up the clothes that do not currently fit and probably will not fit for quite some time and re-organizing maternity clothes better (to see what I still need, too).

First of all, I could not have done it without Debbie. I spent so many long minutes with my wardrobe doors opened, just staring in fright at the project that lay ahead. Then Da Momma came over, cracked her whip and set things into motion.

About two hours later, we had five boxes that went merrily into our attic space and three garbage bags of clothes that "just shouldn't be worn by a Mommy." Basically the mini skirts and things like the college shirt Aunt 'Boose and I made that had devil signs on the back of it. :-)

And what a difference! It looks amazing.

To cap it all off, Scott, my slightly OCD husband, then labeled all of our drawers, my wardrobe and his closet so that if one of us is putting laundry away there's no doubt as to where the comfy pants go or what shelf the maternity skirts belong.

We then met up with our friends Mike and Julie (and their BEAUTIFUL daughter Olivia) for some mall walking and then dinner. It was a great time. I don't think Scott or I realized just how much talking with them (the girls split away from the guys for a while) would help us after we both had a long, difficult week. Not to mention, watching parents about a year into their Mommy and Daddy Adventure helped us realize just how real our own journey was becoming.

It's hard to believe little Olivia is nearly a year old. She's babbling and shoving food into her face and attracting all sorts of "awwws" everywhere she goes. And Mike and Julie are great parents that we can learn a lot from.

So overall, it was a great day.
The icing on the cake? Mommy got two new maternity work shirts! :-) (Well, there was all that room to fill in the wardrobe now!)

Next on our to-do list?
Organizing the storage spaces in our slightly cramped bathrooms (we need necessities like giraffe-hooded towels and rubber duckies) and then other areas of the house in preparation for Little Baby Z's entrance in a few months.

So, who wants to help??? :-)

Remembering baby's grandmother

My mother was a Leap Year baby.
Of the many holes and voids I've dealt with since her death in 1994 is the one in the minutes between Feb. 28 and March 1 on non-Leap Year years.

I usually honor her each year in little ways, whether I bake a cake or cupcakes in her honor or write down memories.
This year, with working until late Sunday night, I just didn't have the chance.

And I thought everybody else forgot, too.

But then I received a "birthday card" for her from my amazing friend Nicole.
Her words meant so much to me and as I read them with tired eyes, rubbing my belly in a way that has just become instinctual and natural lately, I read words that easily could have come from my own heart.

I hope Nicole doesn't mind, but I'm going to share them with you here:

To Wendy's dearest mommy,
You never knew me, and now here you are getting a birthday greeting from a stranger. I feel like I know a part of you though, the part that lives on through your daughter. This is to honor you, her and that part that was passed from mother to daughter so long ago.
Looking down at your daughter from your place in the clouds, you should be so proud of her. She has made her way in this crazy life, found a happy place to spread her roots, and surrounded herself with so many people that love her. She has married a wonderful man, her soulmate and best friend, and they're so excited to start a family of their own. You'll be a grandmother. And Wendy is going to be a wonderful mother. She talks about traditions she had with you growing up, and I know that she'll have all sorts with her own children.
The thing about Wendy that has always been just so obvious to me is the ways that she honors you each and every day. You see it in her actions, in her writing, in the pictures on the wall, the journals on the shelf, in the pulling open of a bureau drawer that you also opened. You live on through Wendy -- it's incredible. I'm sure that, as you are continuing to watch over her in these coming years, you'll see that Wendy teaches her children to honor you in these little ways, too. All those little actions add up...
Last year Wendy told me that every Feb. 28th at 11:59 p.m. she takes an extra special minute to picture her mommy blowing out her cloud candles with the angels singing "Happy Birthday" behind her. What a sweet way to honor the mother she still loves very much. Right now, Wendy really needs her mommy by her side as she herself becomes a mommy. We both know that you're watching over her and giving her an extra special squeeze of the hand when she needs it most.
Happy birthday to the Leap Year Grandma-to-be. Love, Nicole.


Thank you, Nicole. There are no words.

International BabyZ

This baby is going to be one heck of a cultural phenomenon here in small-town central PA!

Baby Z and Momma got fantastic presents in the mail today from "Choch" Aunt Alice and Great-Uncle Paul, who recently returned from a trip to Hong Kong and China.

Momma (for her birthday on Monday) got a giraffe (FAVORITE ANIMAL EVER) scarf and beautiful purple earrings.

BabyZ got the cutest little baby outfit EVER.

Thank you so much to Aunt Alice and UP for thinking of us and loving us so much!

Merry "Mary" gifts for Momma

Momma Z got a surprise in the mail today!

A bag with the word "maternity" was sitting in our mudroom and I just about knocked Scott out in the process of running with it to the scissors to rip it open right in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Debbie's sister, our beloved Aunt Mary, sent me a bunch of WONDERFUL maternity clothes -- a pair of jeans and a pair of black nice pants (that were both extremely comfy), a beige-colored turtleneck sweater that Scott said looked great on me and a long red tie sweater that might never come off my body once it comes out of the washing machine.

Her thinking of me (especially after all of the whining I've done about not having anything to wear and being sick of the same outfits over and over again to work events) really meant a lot to me.

I have an event to cover for work tomorrow that might just be perfect for those new black pants and some laidback things to take care of Friday -- perfect for a new pair of jeans!

This momma-to-be feels like a human being again.
When you're gaining weight, worrying about another unseen human being and planning things that seem equally soon and far away, not feeling yourself, or at least good about yourself is very easy to do.

But I'm back! :-)

This is what a Mommy looks like

My own Momma, with Baby Wendy Rose, many years ago and with a smile that I absolutely treasure and miss.

I haven't seen this photo before -- my uncle Joe, my mom's brother sent it to me in an e-mail last night wishing me and my baby happy times like this one.

I think it's very possible, just judging from where I came from and all the laughter and smiles in my childhood.

I also have a photo of my mom when she was pregnant with me. She's standing near a fireplace in our old home, stomach protruding forward, arms at her side, a small smile on her face. I put a kiss on my fingers and plant that kiss on her every day.

We'll be different mothers for sure, but we'll both be Mommys.