Letters to baby

In lieu of the imminent "BIG" ultrasound Friday afternoon, I had to share a little love and what you might call wishes or daydreams to our baby boy or our baby girl. We will most definitely welcome whatever we are given and spend our pre-bedtime minutes praying for a healthy baby above all else.

Forgive the mushiness, the cheesiness and my hormones.

Here's a letter to our baby girl and then our baby boy.


Dear Baby Girl --
My own daddy calls me that. I'm his Baby Girl and he's my Poppa Bear and no matter how old I get or how much of life and distance has gotten in our way, that will never change. There's something about being a Daddy's Girl that just can't be replaced; some sort of bond hardly ever seen anywhere else. My daddy is my hero and I know that if you are indeed a little girl, your daddy will be your hero too.

Because he's an amazing man.

Your father has been wishing for pink since before he even married Mommy. I know he'll be incredibly happy either way of course, but I wonder if he just wouldn't mind having himself wrapped around the finger of a little girl.

Be careful, though, little one, because being a girl, a little lady and a woman is a hard job. Ask your Mommy about the country folk who still don't think she should be showing up at the county courthouse "messing with matters that shouldn't concern her." Ask your Great Aunt Alice or your Grandma Debbie or your Great Aunt Dot or your cousins Becky or Jennifer, Jeannine, Kacey, Nicole, Julie or Allison. It's tough being a woman. We wear our emotions and our hearts on our sleeves but are stuck in a world dominated by people with names like Bill and Ted. I'll stop my feminist preaching here (for now -- at least until your in your pre-teens) and will just hope you find strength and independence when it matters most.

I hope you are not too much of a girlie girl because you see, your mom was a pretty nice tomboy growing up and much preferred toy cars to Barbies. I'll be OK with seeing you in pretty dresses though, especially when you're younger and when they're accompanied by Easter bonnets, gloves and little patent leather shoes. I won't mind if your friends are boys (until high school) or if you like to jump in mud puddles, either.

I also really hope that you remind yourself once a day that you are beautiful inside and out (until you find a great guy like Daddy who reminds you of that all the time) and that you never sacrifice your happiness for someone else. And don't ever share a cell phone plan with a guy.

Speaking of don'ts: Don't ever dress slutty, especially on Halloween. Everyone does it and it just becomes an embarrassing Facebook photo down the line. Don't ever hate your parents, because we gave you life but mostly because we've promised to be as patient and understanding as possible, no matter the situation we find ourselves in with you. Some of my biggest (and only) regrets involve my mom, who passed away when I was 10. I was given 10 years with her and I often wonder if I made the most of that time.

Dear Baby Girl, I think I'm rambling and I haven't really said anything of importance yet I fear. Just know that you won't have pink walls -- probably purple. Also know you are loved already. As you should be. And that there is a long line of women on both sides of your family with fascinating stories that I just can't wait to share with you. (I guess the guys are pretty interesting, too.)

Your daddy and I love you and can't wait to meet you.
Love,
Mommy


To my "little man" --
A boy! A boy! A beautiful boy!
If you, our darling first-born, are a boy, you will be a big brother and I wonder if that's not going to be a very hard job at times. You see, you'll be responsible for taking care of and protecting any little brother or sister you get in the next few years -- a responsibility you might feel for the rest of your life. Your daddy and I are both technically only children, but Mommy is lucky to have two older step-sisters who have grown closer and closer to her in recent years, despite a good-sized age difference. Now, Mommy gets parenting tips and lots of helpful advice.

I can't wait to meet you. I'm excited to peek out of our kitchen window and watch your daddy teach you how to throw a baseball (even if his shoulder will ache for days afterwards). I'm a bit hesitant to see if you're going to be one of those boys who likes to bring his Mommy bugs and creepy unidentifiable organisms that should stay in the dirt. I'll deal, I promise. (::Shudders::)

You have a lot of boy cousins like Kevin and Ryan in Chicago and like your cousin Nicholas in New Jersey, so that should be a lot of fun for you when it comes time for family gatherings. And, if you're interested, there's an older lady named Olivia who was born in April 2009. But no rush on that one -- I hear she has a lot of suitors already.

I hope you and I have a fabulous relationship -- that I'm fun to be around and that you feel you can come to me about anything -- especially about how to treat the ladies. :-) I wonder if you'll be interested in sports like me and your dad always have been; if you'll be a smarty pants in school (I hope!); if you'll have lots of friends over for snowball fights and bike races.

I have to be honest about one of my fears. You see, I'm very afraid you're going to pee in my face while I change you one of these times. Your family is laughing at Mommy right now, but Mommy had a very traumatizing experience as a Mother's Helper about 10 years ago that still haunts her. I know, I know, cover the goods up and you should be safe. But still... :-)

Your mommy has secretly "felt" like you might be a boy since a first ultrasound in February. Maybe it was to counteract Daddy's nagging about a little girl, or maybe it was real -- I guess we'll find out tomorrow.

I love you, little man. Always and always and always. Can't wait to meet you.
Love,
Mommy